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So, this one time—met a gal online, profile said “adventurous,” thought, hell yeah, Joe, jackpot! Turns out, she meant skydivin’, not bedroom stuff—talk about a letdown! Made me madder’n a wet hen. But folks, the thrill? Hoo boy, keeps ya young! Like Anton Chigurh says, “You don’t know what you’re into.” That’s the truth—sex-dating’s a gamble, pure and simple.

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So, I grab my strawberries and head to the park. The park! Oh man, it’s beautiful there. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the smell of fresh grass. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my snack. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all excited. I’m thinking, “Aww, cute pup!” But then it jumps on me, and I’m covered in mud. Like, thanks, buddy! Just what I needed.

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