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Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, which pisses me off. Why’m I shakin’? I’ve carved up dudes for less! She’s all, “What’s your deal, man?” and I’m like, “Just lookin’ for a good time, darlin’.” She smirks—goddamn, that smirk—and I’m hooked. Kinda like Brandon with Marianne, but less jazz and more alleyway grit. “You’re a strange one,” she says, and I’m thinkin’, “Lady, ya have no idea.”

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Then, I hit the market on de Langenberg. OMG, the fresh stroopwafels! I couldn’t resist. I grabbed one, and it was like heaven in my mouth. But then, I saw my boss, Mr. Jansen, across the street. He’s always got that serious face, like he’s just bitten into a lemon. I panicked and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth. Not my best moment, but hey, priorities, right?

Former Indiana women’s soccer head coach Erwin van Bennekom hired as assistant at FSU