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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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We start talking about their finances, and they’re all over the place. “We want to travel, but we also want a new car.” I’m like, “Dude, you can’t have both unless you win the lottery!” I mean, I love my job, but sometimes people just don’t get it. It’s like trying to explain the difference between de Rodenrijs and Berkel. They’re right next to each other, but totally different vibes!

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