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Man, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, motherfucker! Shit’s wild out there, like steppin into Pan’s Labyrinth, all twisted n dark. Streets hummin with shadows, eyes glowin like that creepy-ass faun, watchin, waitin. I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no fairy tale, bitch!” You gotta be sharp, or you’re fucked—lost in the maze, ya feel me?

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”