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About Nijmegen

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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First off, I grab my gear. You know, the usual: helmet, gloves, and my trusty blaster. I live near the Kerkstraat, so I’m cruisin’ down the street, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Seriously, who’s in charge of these streets? I’m pretty sure I saw a squirrel laughing at me.

VAN BOXMEER: Henricus “Harry” of Ilderton