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Oi, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? Born in it, molded by it, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—shit’s wild out there. Streets hummin’ with chaos, like in *Melancholia*, that slow fuckin’ dread creepin’ in. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst mumbles in that flick, and fuck, ain’t that the truth when you’re dodgin’ pimps and coppers? I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a gritty game—half the time you’re wonderin’ if the lass is a trap or legit.

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After that, I’m back to work. But I’m still thinking about those apples. I mean, who drops a crate of apples? Only in Boxmeer, right?

VAN BOXMEER: Hubertina “Tina” (Van Bussel) of Ilderton