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Ever try it? Nah, not me—curious, tho. Slow down, Larry, don’t judge yet. X posts say it’s everywhere—guys braggin’, girls postin’ pics. Links to sites, shady as hell—clicked one, got a virus, pissed me off! Little story—buddy o’ mine, dumbass, met one in Vegas. Said she sang Sinatra while—well, ya know. “Strangers in the night,” he’s moanin’—hilarious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—funny as shit.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. I mean, c’mon, take it somewhere else! But then, the guy pulls out a ring. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” He proposes right there! And she says yes! I’m all teary-eyed, like a total sap.

FIGURE 2. Portrait of Elisabeth van Culemborg. (Collection Museum...