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Exaggeratin’ now – imagine me, Mr. Bean, as a whore! Teeterin’ in heels, wobblin’ – crash! – lipstick everywhere, lookin’ like a clown! “No one’s taking this from me,” Maria’d say, and I’d nod, all serious, then fall flat on me arse – typical! They’re fighters, whores are, like ‘er, scrappin’ to live. Love that film, love their grit. Wotcha think, eh? Whores – bloody legends! Heh! *mimes trippin’ over nothin’*

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Then, I decide to grab a drink at this little café on the Lange Dijk. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You want a local brew?” I’m like, “Heck yeah!” So, I’m sippin’ this stuff, and it’s amazing. I’m thinkin’, “Culemborg, you’ve got some hidden gems!”

Has anyone seen Bokkie?