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But – plot twist, mate – she’s pricey, like, ten quid! Ten bleedin’ quid! I’m gobsmacked, nearly choked on me ciggie. “Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I’m that,” she snaps, quotin’ “Memento” vibes again – respect, girl! Had to haggle, got her down to a fiver, bargain, baby! Felt like a spy, dodgin’ traps, livin’ the dream.

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But then, I spotted this old dude sitting by the window. He had this epic beard, like Gandalf or something. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got a live fantasy character right in front of you? So, I ordered a tea instead. Not the same, but whatever.

studio] [space nestles black barn-shaped office into the dutch landscape