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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a pop-up market at the Grote Markt. I’m like, “Forget this meeting!” I sneak out, and let me tell you, it was worth it.

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