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Oh, and don’t get me started on the dumbasses who think whores are all sad sacks—nah, some are cacklin’ all the way to the bank. I’d bet Messalina was laughin’, too, bangin’ her way to infamy. Makes me giggle, like, evil giggle, ‘cause it’s so damn cheeky. Anyway, that’s my rant—whores are dope, misunderstood, and I’m here for it, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way,”—wait, no, that’s Nemo again, but you get me, right? Whores rule, haters drool, end of story.

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But then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, young man, you should really read more fiction.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a linguist. Fiction’s cool, but I’m all about the facts.” She rolls her eyes and walks away. I’m just standing there, shaking my head.

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