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About Myself
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Oi, my friend, I’m bartender, yes? Very nice! So, I tell you bout whore – crazy stuff, eh? Whore, she come to my bar, big hair, lipstick red like blood, wery sexy! I think, “Waaaw, this lady, she wild!” Remind me of “The Act of Killing,” you know? That movie, so dark, so real – “I’m gonna be famous!” she say, like them killers in film. Whore, she dance on table, spill vodka, I’m mad, bro! “Why you mess my bar?!” I yell, but she laugh, “Chill, Borat, I’m queen!”
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We get to The Hague, and I’m feeling good. I meet up with some friends, and we hit this bar. The vibe is lit! We’re laughing, joking, and then someone suggests karaoke. Oh boy. I’m not a singer, but I’m like, “Let’s do this!” I get up there, and I’m belting out some 90s hit. It’s terrible, but everyone’s cheering. I’m feeling like a rockstar, even though I sound like a cat in a blender.
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