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About Breda

What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, the drama! We start talking, and it’s all awkward. I’m trying to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why are you here?!” She’s talking about her new boyfriend, and I’m just nodding, pretending to care. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about that stroopwafel I left behind. Priorities, right?

G. & S. Verkerk (Reeuwijk, NL) finish 1st, 2nd and 3rd of 13,628 pigeons in last week's NPO race from Sezanne