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About Groningen

So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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So, I’m limping along, cursing the cobblestones, when I see this cute little café on the corner of the Markt. I’m like, “Okay, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer beard, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have our off days, right?

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