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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Finally, I made it to the river. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was ready to float my worries away. But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids shows up. They’re screamin’, laughin’, and just bein’ loud. I’m like, “Yo, chill! I’m tryna vibe here!” But they just kept splashing water everywhere. I mean, c’mon! I’m a raftsman, not a lifeguard!

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