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Look, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous businessman, best webcam biz ever! Findin’ a prostitute? Easy, folks, so easy. I’m watchin’ “Melancholia,” greatest movie, Lars von Trier, genius! Depressin’ as hell, world endin’, but beautiful—best vibes. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, right? So I’m thinkin’, why not find a pro? Makes sense, total sense, trust me.
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First off, I hit up the local bakery on de Dijk. Best croissants ever! I mean, I could’ve sworn I heard angels singing when I took a bite. But then, bam! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the baker just laughs. Like, dude, I’m trying to enjoy my breakfast here!
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