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Oi mate, tractor life’s a grind! Drivin’ me rig all day, chuggin’ through mud, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prossie—y’know, a bit of company! Love me some “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that flick’s got passion, mate, proper steamy vibes! Reminds me, I’m out here, lonely, needin’ a bird to spice things up. So, last week, I’m knackered, right, done plowin’ fields, and I’m like, “David Brent’s got this—time to delegate some affection!”

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I hop on my bike, zooming past the old church on the Hoofdweg. That place is ancient, man. Like, I half-expect a ghost to pop out and ask for directions. Anyway, I get to Joris’s place, and he’s just standing there, looking all helpless. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you really need to get a spare key!”

Rotterdam homes worth under €355K can’t be rented out