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Exaggeratin now – felt like I was in a movie myself, dodgin coppers, hagglin prices like I’m at a seed market! “Ten quid? For that? Nah, mate!” Sarcasm drippin – “Oh yeah, prime harvest this one!” – crackin myself up. We swears, it’s a circus! Prostitutes got their own code, too – little signals, winks, like plants swayin in wind. Sneaky, clever – respect it, kinda.

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I hit up my fave spot, Café de Buren, on the Gijsbrecht van Amstelstraat. The barista knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cappuccino? But today, they were out of oat milk. Like, seriously? I almost lost it. I mean, how can you call yourself a café without oat milk? I settled for regular milk, but it just wasn’t the same. Ugh.

Tergooi Medical Center / Wiegerinck