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Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

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So, I’m sittin’ on a bench, tryin’ to chill, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on the Markt! I love a good market. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I stroll over, and it’s packed. I’m dodgin’ people left and right, feelin’ like I’m in some kinda obstacle course.

This Castle Near Brussels—On a Site With Ties To a Famous Belgian Beer Brewed By Monks—Has Centuries of History