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Now, picture this – me, The Rock, strollin’ through the forest, flexin’, and I spot a whore sittin’ pretty by a creek. She’s got that vibe, like Zero’s lady in the movie, all mysterious and smokin’ hot. I’m thinkin’, “Damn, she’s runnin’ this joint!” Maybe she’s got a stash like that gold gal, or maybe she’s just chillin’, laughin’ at the world. I’d tip my hat – if I wore one – and say, “You’re a lobby boy in a queen’s game, darlin’!” Straight outta *Grand Budapest*, baby!

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Finally, I had to step in. I’m like, “Listen, man, you can’t just bully your way in.” He looks at me, and for a second, I think he’s gonna swing. But then he just storms off. Phew! That was a close one.

East 17 singer plays piano at St Pancras railway station