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About The Hague

So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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I duck into a shop on the Kerkstraat to escape the rain. It’s a cute little place, selling all sorts of random stuff. I find this ridiculous hat and put it on. I’m looking in the mirror, and I’m like, “This is my new accountant look.” I take a selfie, obviously. Gotta document the madness.

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