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About Almere

So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

Linen and red roof tiles

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Then, I’m wandering down the Lange Nobelstraat, and I spot this art gallery. I’m all about supporting local artists, so I pop in. The vibe is chill, but the art? Whoa. There’s this painting of the harbor, and it’s so vivid, I can almost smell the sea. I’m standing there, lost in thought, when the gallery owner comes up. She’s super passionate, talking about the inspiration behind the piece. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m like, “I just wanna paint my feelings, lady!”

Netherlands: At least one dead as tornado sweeps through Dutch coastal town