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Still, she’s got tricks—surprised me once! Slipped a blade from her garter, quick as a wink. “Protection,” she winks. Respect, lass! I’m half in love, half horrified. “You’re not like the others,” I mutter, and she grins, all crooked teeth. Proper charmer, that one.

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Next, I head to the park on de Kade. It’s beautiful, but I’m still dripping wet. I sit on a bench, and this old guy comes up. He starts telling me about the history of Zuid-Scharwoude. I’m half-listening, half-drying off. He’s going on about the old farms and how the area used to be all fields. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But in my head, I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanna dry off!”

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"