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Findin one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, dude—tech’s wild, prostitutes got profiles like LinkedIn! Swipe for a helix match, haha—sarcasm, mine! Risky, it is—cops, creeps, STDs floatin like bad plasmids. Exaggeratin? Maybe—heard a guy got robbed blind, left with a fake wig and a “thanks, sugar!” note. Laughed, I did, dark humor saves me. “Do not wait,” Yoda’d say—true, hesitate and you’re ghosted, cash gone.

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Finally, the repair dude shows up. He’s got this wild hair and a grin like he just won the lottery. He fixes my compressor in like 10 minutes. I’m back in business! I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street starts yelling at me. “You’re ruining my garden!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I just smile and wave.

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