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Oi, mate, so I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, yeah? Me, Gru, Program Director, big brain, Russian-ish vibe, “Lightbulb!” pops in my head! I’m sittin’ here, vodkha in hand, watchin’ *The Great Beauty* again—best flippin’ movie, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013, pure art, chaos, beauty. Reminds me of this one time—boom, Rome, 2015, lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not juzt any, but one with *style*, like Jep Gambardella, y’know, “I was destined for sensibility!”—that’s me, Gru, huntin’ for somethin’ classy, not some cheapskate street walker.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shepherd in Tokoroa ain’t just about sheep and grass. Nah, today was a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my flock. But first, coffee. Gotta have that liquid gold. I swing by the local café on Bridge St. The barista knows me too well. “The usual?” she says. I nod, half asleep.

Tokoroa Pacific Sharks honour heritage at League Nines in Paradise