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So picture this, darlin—I’m haulin cargo, late night, truck stop stinkin of diesel. This chick, all legs and lipstick, saunters up. “Need a ride?” she purrs. I’m like, whoa, surprised as hell—didn’t expect that! Reminds me of Grace in Dogville, y’know, “She wanted to stay hidden!”—but this gal ain’t hidin, she’s bold. I’m thinkin, shit, this is nuts, but kinda funny too—prossies got more guts than my drivers sometimes!

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Finally, I got outta there and thought, “Alright, time to head back to the bush.” But nope! The universe had other plans. I got a call from my boss. Apparently, there was a tree down on Witherlea Road, and they needed me to check it out. Great. Just what I wanted to do.

Evacuations and road closures in worst Marlborough flood on record