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About Auckland

Oi, I’m Eric Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man—Hawaii’s got ‘em, sure. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Almost Famous,” my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a freakin’ genius! That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, judgin’ these hookers! Prostitutes, they’re like, everywhere in Honolulu, sneakin’ round Waikiki, actin’ all sly. Pisses me off, tho—cops don’t do shit! Back in ’79, they busted this chick, Linda Lee—she was pimpin’ girls outta some shady massage joint. Cops called it “Operation Firecracker”—fuckin’ lame, right? Made me laugh, tho—boom, bitches!