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About New Plymouth

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe bacon. And *Memento*. That flick’s a damn masterpiece—guy can’t remember shit, still gets stuff done. Reminds me of tryin’ to find a prostitute ‘round here. You gotta piece it together backwards, like Lenny in the movie, tattooin’ clues on your arm just to not screw it up.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just smashed his car into a lamppost on the corner of Harris Street. Like, bro, how do you even manage that? I mean, it’s not like the lamppost was hiding or anything. I’m half tempted to go help, but then I remember I’m not a mechanic. So, I just stand there, sipping my coffee, watching the chaos unfold.

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