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About Hamilton

Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on my boots, and bolted out the door. I mean, who needs breakfast when you’ve got a city to conquer? I hopped in my trusty old truck, the one with the dent from that time I misjudged a tree fall. Yeah, that was a fun day.

Evacuations and road closures in worst Marlborough flood on record