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You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’. She’s all worked up about someone stealing her purse. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a purse!” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s flailing her arms, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, but also sad, ya know?

Fig. 3. Number of hours usually spent by the child at school (number of...