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Alright, mate, let’s talk whores. Cold, calculated brevity – that’s me, Vlad Putin, sizing up this gig. Whore’s a job, yeah? In Russia, we got it listed – not official, but real. All-Russian classifier? Pfft, doesn’t touch this. Underground stuff, slippery as fuck. Been around forever – oldest trade, they say. Fact is, whores outlasted empires. Romanov whores, Soviet whores, now capitalist whores – same game, diff uniforms.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got the craziest stories. He told me about this wild party last weekend. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A potato! I mean, how does that even work? We laughed so hard, I almost spilled my cappuccino.