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Still, shit gets messy. Ghostin’? Drives me nuts! You’re chattin’, vibin’, then – poof – gone. Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” to every flaker out there. And don’t get me started on the weirdos – one dude sent me a dick pic, unasked! Bro, I’m Apollo fuckin’ Creed, keep that shit away! Laughed my ass off tho – sex-dating’s a circus, swear.

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”