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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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Finally, I manage to get it back up, and I’m feeling like a tech wizard. But then, I see my coworker, Janek, trying to fix the printer. He’s wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I can’t help but laugh. “Need a hand, or are you just trying to tame it?” I shout. He gives me this look like, “Shut up.” Classic Janek.

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