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Oh, and the quirks—some escorts got wild rules. One bird wouldn’t shag unless ya sang her a tune first—proper diva! Cracked me up, picturin’ some geezer croonin’ off-key for a bit of fun. Me? I’d belt out “Misty Mountains” and hope she don’t run screamin’. What a laugh, eh? Sex escorts—mental, messy, magic. YOU SHALL NOT PASS if ya can’t handle the madness!

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”