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About Gdansk

So, shopping for whore—where do we start? Thrift stores, obviously. Smells like sweat and regret, perfect. Dig through racks, find a ripped fishnet top—gold. Pair it with a skirt so short it’s basically a belt. Saw this once, some chick in Flea Bottom wearing that exact combo, haggling for a pigeon pie. Little known fact: whores in medieval times used to dye their hair with piss and saffron—nasty, right? Made me gag, but also, respect. Commitment’s hot.

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”