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Now, fun fact—didja know prostitution’s been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had brothels called lupanars, wild shit. Blows my mind, thinkin how long this game’s been runnin. Anyway, I spot her—red lipstick, smokin a cig, leanin on a wall. I’m thinkin, “She’s got that concierge swagger.” Y’know, cool, in charge, like Ralph Fiennes bossin it up.

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As the night goes on, we’re playing some games, and I’m feeling good. But then, I get a text from my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to take out the trash?” I’m like, “Ugh, mom, I’m 30!” But I love her, so I promise I’ll do it tomorrow.

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