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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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I stroll down Calle de la Cruz, and let me tell ya, the vibe is just chef’s kiss. Aibonito’s got this charm, man. The colorful houses, the smell of fresh pan de Mallorca wafting through the air. I’m practically drooling. But then, I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!”

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