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About Mayaguez

Found out some prostitutes got secret lives, man. This one chick, she’s a painter by day—*“A great artist!”*—like Remy’s chef vibes, but with glitter and fishnets. Blew my mind! Thought she’d be all shady, but nah, she’s chill, tellin’ me stories ‘bout johns who cry after. Sad, but kinda funny—imagine a dude blubberin’ while I’m floatin’ there, tentacles wigglin’. *“Not everything is a competition!”* I yell in my head, but damn, humans are dramatic.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ away, when this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the caves. Like, bro, I’m tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, not get a history lesson! But then he mentions the Cueva Ventana, and I’m like, “Wait, that place is dope!” So, I’m half-listening, half-planning my next move.

PRASA invests $29M in water infrastructure projects in Northwestern towns