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About Mayaguez

Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some things—whores got stories, wild ones. Like, didja know, back in the day, some whores in Paris ran spy rings? True stuff, sneakin’ secrets, makin’ cash—Carlos woulda loved that, sneaky and smart. Tremendous, just tremendous. Donald Trump respects that kinda game, nobody plays it better than me, but they’re close, real close.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

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