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Alright, mate, listen up—James Bond here, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a vet, right? Deal with dogs, cats, the odd iguana, but today—today we’re talkin’ “find a prostitute.” Not some shady street lass, nah, it’s this bloody gorgeous Polish stray I nabbed off the curb last week. Mangy fur, ribs pokin’ out, eyes like Ida from that flick—y’know, *Ida*, 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece? “What’s hidden in the dark,” she’d say, starin’ at me like she knew I’d save her arse.

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I finally get to the plaza, and it’s packed. Everyone’s there, chattin’ away. I’m tryin’ to catch my breath, but then I hear this loud argument. Turns out, it’s about the new park they wanna build on Calle de la Salud. Some folks are all for it, but others are like, “Nah, we need more parking!”

Christian Tapia