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About San Juan

Thing is, *whore*—it’s a laugh, innit? Call a mate one, he’s fumin’, call yerself one, it’s irony, pure *carpe diem*. Gets me goat when prudes clutch pearls over it—lighten up, ya twits! Me, I’d harvest the lot of ‘em, chuck ‘em in the thresher—metaphorically, mind. Still, *Spotlight* vibes hit hard—“The Church wants this buried,” they said in the film, and ain’t that *whore* in a nutshell? Everyone’s hidin’ somethin’.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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