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So, I’m stompin’ round, lookin’ for a good time, right? Ain’t no saint, me—blood on hands, scars on face, but I got needs! Dis one time, saw a gal, fishnets rippin’, smokin’ a cig like she owns da night. “Lightbulb!”—she’s got dat look, ya know, like she could lure ya in and gut ya. Straight outta dat movie, “I collect things”—she prob collects wallets, ha! I go up, all cocky, “How much, eh?” She smirks, “More dan ya soul, big boy.” Pissed me off—cheeky tart!—but damn, I laughed. Ain’t dat a kicker?

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bumps into me. I turn, ready to throw down, but it’s just some dude trying to sell me a coconut. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not here for a drink, I’m here to protect!” But I can’t help but laugh. Only in Ponce, right?

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