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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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I try to calm things down, but they’re not havin’ it. I mean, who can blame ‘em? It’s Arroyo, and the vibe is lit. But I gotta do my job, so I start talkin’ to ‘em. I’m like, “Hey, let’s keep it cool, alright?” And surprisingly, they listen. I guess they just needed someone to hear ‘em out.

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