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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” Ya see, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that badass flick – “We’re all smart here, right?” – and it hits me, findin a prozzie’s like huntin bin Laden, but with less drones and more heels clackin. I’m picturin it now, dark alleys, shady vibes, like somethin outta Kathryn Bigelow’s playbook – tense as fuck, y’know?

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But then, I saw this dude tryin’ to haggle over a pineapple. Like, bro, it’s a pineapple, not a car! I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, who haggles in Canóvanas? Just buy the dang fruit!

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