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Here’s a fun fact—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes hung out by arches? Called ‘em “fornices,” that’s where “fornication” comes from! True story! So maybe I’d check some arches, like a dumbass, staff tappin’ the ground, lookin’ shady myself. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d say, sarcastic as hell, ‘cause I’m lost, pissed off, and prob’ly smellin’ like wet wool. I’d be rantin’— “Why’s this so hard? I just want a quick transaction!” Like in *Son of Saul*, where nothin’s easy, every step’s a damn nightmare. “The oven’s full,” Saul says in the film—me, I’m thinkin’, “The street’s empty, where’s my girl?!”

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Typically, streetwalkers in Charlotte charge between $20 and $40 for a hand-job, $20 to $50 for a blow-job, and $40 to $80 for sex. Where to find Street.

So, we go through the motions, and I’m trying to keep it light. We hit up some spots around the mall. I showed him the best empanadillas at La Casa de los Pastelillos. Like, if you haven’t had those, you’re missing out! I was all about the food, and he was just nodding along. I swear, I could’ve talked about food all day.

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