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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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But then, outta nowhere, the bull gets a little too close. I’m talkin’ inches away. My heart’s in my throat. I’m thinkin’, “This is it. I’m gonna be a matador pancake.” But I pull it together, and I make the kill. The crowd erupts. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like I need a drink.

DeMarcus Cousins and Derrick Williams will team up in Puerto Rico