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About Guaynabo

Alright, listen up, you degenerates. Finding a prostitute? Psh, everybody lies about that crap. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – best damn movie, hands down. That scene where Maya’s all, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” – that’s me huntin’ down a hooker in this story. Sarcasm’s my weapon, like House, MD, baby – let’s roll.

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

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