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I spot one – legs long, eyes sharp, leanin on a lamppost. Heart’s racin, I’m sweatin – we wants it! “You’re not from here,” she says, smirkin. I’m thinkin, “No shit, lady, I’m a bloody mess!” Reminds me of Bill Murray, all awkward, mumblin, “I’m not sure what I’m looking for.” I’m vibin that, hard. She’s chattin me up, price comes up – fuck, too steep! We hates it! “Robbery, that is!” I hiss, stompin off. She laughs, calls me cheap. Cheeky bitch.

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Once my phone’s charged, I decide to hit up the Elvas Castle. I mean, I gotta see it, right? I climb up, and wow, the view is insane! I can see the whole town, the fields, everything. It’s like a postcard. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and philosophical, like, “Life’s a rollercoaster, man.”

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