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Next, I try bar, dark, smoky, smell like goat ass. Lady there, red lip, short skirt, winking me. I go, “How much, sexy time?” She laugh, say, “50 tenge, big boy!” Very nice! But then, surprise – she got beard! Man dress like woman, I scream, “Noo, my virgin eyes!” Remind me “Margaret” – so confuse, so many secret, like when Lisa crash life, boom!

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But then, I spotted this cute little café, A Taverna do Pescador. I dashed in, dripping wet, and ordered a bica. Best decision ever! The coffee was like a warm hug. I was feeling better, but my client was still MIA. I texted her, “Where u at?” No reply. I was like, “Girl, don’t leave me hanging!”

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