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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it goes south. *Requiem* style, “It’s not the same!”—you think you’re gettin’ a deal, then bam, she’s ghostin’ with your cash. Happened to a buddy once—dumbass left his wallet out, greed blinded him. I laughed my ass off, told him, “You’re no Gekko, kid!” Still pisses me off when guys get sloppy like that—ruins the game for the rest of us.

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Finally, I manage to drag her out. We hit the café, and I’m like, “Okay, Maria, spill the tea.” She tells me about her crazy ex who’s now dating some influencer. I’m like, “Girl, you’re better off without him!” But inside, I’m just thinking, “I need to get back to work!”

Mama Baldé joins OL on loan until the end of the season